I met with my therapist today. We talked about fear and how the parts of my life I’m afraid of. In the moment it was hard for me to grasp but now I see the areas of my life I runaway from. Things like posting vlogs to youtube and writing leave me hiding away in distractions. I do not feel comfortable with my writing at all. In college I would do whatever it took to avoid a writing assignment. I would wait till the last minute to finish a paper. My fear kept me from picking up the pen all through out school. Writing everyday has helped though. Eventually I’ll take a writing class, but there’s plenty of online resources I can get into.
I am most afraid of updating my portfolio. Parts of me think my work as a photographer isn’t enough, but thats not true. I have about 8,000 photos I need to go through. A hundred of those photos are definitely portfolio worthy. The work I’ve done for 303 Magazine in Denver, all the live shows I’ve captured, all the portraits I’ve taken, and all the adventures I’ve had are currently in my cloud storage. Deep in my heart I’m still afraid of my work is insufficient. While there may be some truth to that, I just look it as room for improvement. In the meantime I’m going to take every opportunity to learn new skills.