My work is completely unoriginal and I’ve been aware this entire time. I hear a voice in the back of my mind, whispering, “you’re not good enough. I't never goes away.
Sometimes it bothers me sometimes it doesn’t. Earlier today I was trying to sketch this church in my neighborhood. I’m looking at it now and completely hate it. I look at these vlogs and hate them too. I look at everything I’ve made and just want to delete it all and start over. As much as I want to I don’t, because thats not the process, thats not my process.
Today I decided that it doesn’t matter if I’m not good enough. My purpose is to understand the world around me through different points of reference. When I’m making a poster, editing photos or learning a new program I’m exercising my creative eye to see things differently or just the way they are. One skill I’ve learned this year is the practice to quiet my mind and be present in the moment. I’m still learning this, but now I understand. My practice moving forward is learning to see. I’m only scratching the surface of what this is.
It feels like a new chapter in my life. The turn of a page and the opening of a new door.